Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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