"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
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