I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
