He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Randomize