Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Randomize
