I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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