Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
