By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
