remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
