We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize