As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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