She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We left an ass print on the piano.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
