...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Randomize
