This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
He felt like a one man threesome
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
