I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
This is the high leading the old right now
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize