Michael Bay diarrhea
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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