You work out of a Hotel?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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