Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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