Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
50% drunk capacity currently
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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