Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
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