wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
