Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
This baby is an asshole
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize