Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
