im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
zippers are such a cool invention
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
