so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
