I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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