she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
