the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
