do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
so much tequila, so little girl.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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