Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
