He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
