kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
