Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
