You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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