we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
