Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
