I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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