We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
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