Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
