Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
