I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize