Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
