I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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