when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
