I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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