I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
