I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
