guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize