im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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