So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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