I'm drive I can fine osifer
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
