carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
