OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
