Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
