I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
