how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
