this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
