can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
