i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
