do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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