im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
