Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
