I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize