Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
